About a year ago, maybe more, I had a discovery call (in fact was an in person meeting so worse) with someone who was SO negative, I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere and they had no actual intention of outsourcing anything, it was a moanfest! They actually told me they had no faith in Virtual Assistants- they were basically ticking a networking box and having a 1:1 that week!
That’s when I realised how impactful your mood/energy can be when you chat with someone and even more important when you work with them. Now, I’m genuinely told I’m a positive person but sometimes I don’t feel like that so I thought I’d do a quick energy check in with myself and since that meeting I’ve had some things in place that help me balance my energy, pull myself out of slumps and make sure that I’m doing what I can to also attract other positive energy type people to my business, whether thats clients, collaborators or suppliers!
So if you need a boost, or feel like your always attracting the mood hoovers into your life, here are my tips- save this for when you need it!
FIRST Put out positive energy!! You attract what you put out there, so if you move around feeling negative and moaning and low then you will attract that bag- creating an endless circle.
1- Put yourself and your energy first and be kind
You’ll have heard the ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ and ‘apply your oxygen mask before anyone elses’ but this is more than that. This is about treating yourself with kindness, ALL the time, thinking about what makes you feel like you don’t need to moan. It’s about being in a headspace that you can hear something negative or see something painful and not taking it in or taking it personally. I do this by checking in with my mood each day and then choosing my attitude for that day. So if you wake up shattered you can either chose to feel tired and miserable ALL day or you can chose ONE way you want to feel that day, for instance, INSPIRED. If you want to feel inspired all day, you will do things that are more positive, you will switch the news off and listen to music, you will speak with people you want to. It just helps you to check in and focus on INSPIRED and not TIRED. Try it, it takes practice but works a TREAT!
2- See others in a good way- flattering light
Even the people you don’t like or make a quick negative judgement on. Now don’t beat yourself up for making negative judgements they come quicker than we can even think about them, the initial thought isn’t the problem, it’s what you do with that thought that matters. So, if I see someone on IG living a ‘fake life’ on the beach making millions, my initial thought is negative. I then force myself so re-word my own thoughts and look at something flattering, for instance, I love the way they’ve taken that picture, I appreciate that I can see the wonderful ocean in that photo etc. Again, give it a try, small changes make a difference.
3- Positive words only
Similar to above. Whenever you catch yourself saying ‘I can’t’ flip it and think about is it really,
I can’t yet.
I don’t want to.
I won’t do this.
I need to outsource this.
I need to ask the kids to do this.
On a more basic level if you feel yourself constantly saying “I’m so busy at work, the days are so long” flip it to “I’m grateful my business/career is going well, I’m going to look at some ways to celebrate that and free up some time”. Again, it changes your perspective and once you’ve done it a few times you find it becomes easier and easier.
4- Gratitude and compliments
This is a recent one for me, a small gratitude journal- actually part of my Hinch Lists book from my sister in law. Literally 3 short lines at the end of the day help you to think about the GOOD things that have happened, even on the shittiest of days try and find something. One day I actually wrote, ‘wore matching socks’, so on reflection it seems small but it must have meant something to me that day.
5- Work towards a clear goal
And, it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention goals. Make them visual, make them clear and make every day contribute towards them. YES chilling out in the beer garden can be contributing to a goal, rest and down time is needed!
Then SECOND, so I’d recommend moving to these tips when you’ve done the tips above for a couple of weeks when you’re in a more positive space.
1- Change the tone of your thoughts
This should be easier when you’ve practised the above as the words you are using will generally be kinder and warmer. So with your thoughts just change the tone. Instead of “I’m so tired I wish I could just sleep” think “I’m grateful to have a warm bed and tonight I will do something towards getting better sleep.
Or instead of “I’m so busy I’ve no time for me”, think, “I’ve created a great life now I need to make some space for myself”.
You will find this change in tone will help your thoughts to generate answers and actions for you.
2- Expand your circle
Look around the dinner table at your next family meal, glance at the girls at Friday night wines, reflect on your networking group. Are these truly your people? I’m not saying bin them off. But, if you find there’s no one like you or there’s a type of person you crave to spend time with and you currently don’t, then think about expanding your circle. Where can you find those people? How can you actively bring them into your life?
3- Look at your inner strength
What is amazing about you? I struggle massively with this. I actually have a notes on my phone that I open when I’m struggling and it’s a combo of what I’m good at and times I’ve overcome something big. And it reminds me of my capabilities! Start it today, even if you only put one thing in your phone once you’ve started you’ll remember things that you can add.
4- Align with your future vision
Do you want to live by the sea? Do something each day that is like that for instance, take a beac trip one day, do a pilates video at home but make sure its one based on the beach, surround your work area with pictures of the ocean and the sand.
Do you want to have champagne Fridays. Start with prosecco and then research the good stuff, know the prices, the vineyards etc so you know what you’re aiming for.
Do you want to travel the Summer holidays. Create a vision board, join some forums, follow some blogs and surround yourself with people who do the same. Get an idea of how to get there.
There is no point having a vision and no path. No matter how big the vision and how small the steps (they should be small) you need to understand that journey and acting now how you want to feel in the future, it matters.
5- Begin your day with peace!
Hahaha I know you’re laughing out loud now. And I know for myself that my 3 workdays per week, this isn’t the case. But, I’ve made a process so I know that the lack of peace is temporary. There is a crazy hour at the most and then I make sure I reset before I go about my day.
It’s a ten minute reset…
1- Down a water and take supplements.
2- Switch PC on and write my top 3 goals for the day and my manifest prompt (happiness planner)
3- 10 squats and 10 lunges.
4- Quick cat, cow and cobra stretch.
5- Blast a song I can sing my heart out to.
Then I feel peaceful and ready to go! Give a reset a try, even if its just 1 minute!
Practical ways to do this
I’m aware sometimes that blogs can talk about all of this stuff but actually have no advice on how to do them. If you want to attract this energy in then read on from some real life ways (real life as in the way I’ve done them) to achieve this positivity. My energy feels so different now to when I was working a corporate job surrounded by people I HAD to work with and an insane travel schedule.
Ask for help- Outsource, delegate, jobs lists, collaborate, I have a tendency to do everything alone- this is still work in progress but honestly- gamechanger.
Network- start small, go with someone else, just go to the venue and watch from afar, arrange to meet the facilitator earlier. Networking is something I love AND has added so much value to my business. Yes I’ve found clients but more importantly, I’ve made business friends, there are people going through what I am.
Ask others what they think your inner strengths are. Get some feedback on this one, ask people close to you, people you used to work with, people you’ve not seen in ages and new people. It’s worth it as I guarantee you’ll see some patterns, add them to that note in your phone and keep it close by for the shi days.
Put your vision somewhere and write 3 things you will do each day when you reach that vision, and then do your own version of them now.
Have a morning routine, now I know you’ll have heard this a bazillion times before and I got fed up hearing it until I found one that sticks for me. I thought I had to get up at 5 to do a workout, a dog walk, pilates, journal, meditate, healthy breakfast, meal prep for the day, dishwasher, wash on, washing out etc etc. I then realised I ACTUALLY HAD to get my son ready, feed myself something simple, make sure my office was tidy and clean, move a little bit and use my planner, if I’m productive and the weather is going my way I also get out with the dog so he is quiet when I’m on calls.
I also didn’t think about how my mornings would look different on none work days, so I have flexible routines now, that include things I like and meditation isn’t one of those. Don’t set yourself up to fail.
I know this is a longer blog than usual but it’s something that is overlooked. Self reflection and working on energy and presence will make a huge difference in your work.
I’d love to chat with you to help you release some time and headspace for this work, my team and I are ready to help you. Good luck! Let me know how you get on.